Metal is Awful
Look at this closely. 

The worlds saddest band still can’t even properly execute the already quarter-baked ideas in their tired heads. 

This is embarrassing, but at least they’re *consistently* embarrassing.

Look at this closely.

The worlds saddest band still can’t even properly execute the already quarter-baked ideas in their tired heads.

This is embarrassing, but at least they’re *consistently* embarrassing.

I love Brodequin, total power lifting death metal brutality.
I’m going to ignore Brodequin’s unclear use of language here (finger nails?), and just focus my mental clarity to pin point perfection with the mantra of driving the nails into Christ’s shivering wreck of a body REALLY FUCKING HARD BRO’ whilst i’m working out.
Remember to seek a physician’s advice before engaging in any fitness activity that may require listening to Instruments of Torture to get the job done.

I love Brodequin, total power lifting death metal brutality.

I’m going to ignore Brodequin’s unclear use of language here (finger nails?), and just focus my mental clarity to pin point perfection with the mantra of driving the nails into Christ’s shivering wreck of a body REALLY FUCKING HARD BRO’ whilst i’m working out.

Remember to seek a physician’s advice before engaging in any fitness activity that may require listening to Instruments of Torture to get the job done.

"Do you even lift bro?"
Seriously, the only reason these are in Metal is Awful is because they aren’t fucking Brodequin gym shorts.
I need Brodequin gym shorts for when i’m bunch pressing scene posers during free weights.
PS “Shorts come with Left and Right side pockets ideal for carrying keys and small change”

"Do you even lift bro?"

Seriously, the only reason these are in Metal is Awful is because they aren’t fucking Brodequin gym shorts.

I need Brodequin gym shorts for when i’m bunch pressing scene posers during free weights.

PS “Shorts come with Left and Right side pockets ideal for carrying keys and small change”

Christmas Yuletide is nearly upon us, get that special heathen vegan anarcho-bike messenger persyn in your a life a little something that will always say to the world “I may be wearing black leggings underneath cut off khakis, but i feel the love of Frigg every day of my life.”

Christmas Yuletide is nearly upon us, get that special heathen vegan anarcho-bike messenger persyn in your a life a little something that will always say to the world “I may be wearing black leggings underneath cut off khakis, but i feel the love of Frigg every day of my life.”

Are you a total douchebag Y/N?
If Y
Are you Blake Judd Y/N?
If Y, ha ha, you’re in jail
If N
Buy this shirt asap, you utter fucking nob

Are you a total douchebag Y/N?

If Y

Are you Blake Judd Y/N?

If Y, ha ha, you’re in jail

If N

Buy this shirt asap, you utter fucking nob

Heavy Metal Christmas sweaters! HUHUHUH!

Both of these embarrassing goof-shrouds perfectly encapsulate how these two respective bands have become meaningless irrelevant husks. These cost $80. Case closed.

If this is the current level of Motorhead’s spirit and their fans’ imagination, I’m avoiding the Internet utterly for a full month when Lemmy passes away for fear of the idiocy that will ensue.

Under settings i clicked the box “hide my OK Cupid profile from Orange Goblin fans”

Under settings i clicked the box “hide my OK Cupid profile from Orange Goblin fans”

Looking forward to Honour and Hate’s special Crue 30 year anniversary shirt next year.
Vince Neil’s gurning mug with the phrase “Problem Drinking and Poor Decision Making” finished with an ultra edgy classic back print: “Fuck off Hanoi Rocks”

Looking forward to Honour and Hate’s special Crue 30 year anniversary shirt next year.

Vince Neil’s gurning mug with the phrase “Problem Drinking and Poor Decision Making” finished with an ultra edgy classic back print: “Fuck off Hanoi Rocks”

Call of Duty exclusive Playstation Network Death in June We Drive East Campaign downloadable content.
Choose your gameplay style! Take the stealth approach and avoid accusations of fascism, or go all out in a full frontal assault and inflate prices of your increasingly bland 2x10” sets dramatically.
Bonus rainbow swastika skins download included (it’s not fascism when you stick a rainbow flag on it, it’s probably subversive right?)

Call of Duty exclusive Playstation Network Death in June We Drive East Campaign downloadable content.

Choose your gameplay style! Take the stealth approach and avoid accusations of fascism, or go all out in a full frontal assault and inflate prices of your increasingly bland 2x10” sets dramatically.

Bonus rainbow swastika skins download included (it’s not fascism when you stick a rainbow flag on it, it’s probably subversive right?)

After oil runs out and we go fucking nuts and start eating each other to survive the inevitable ensuing crisis, 1,500 lucky power metal fans will have the official Blind Guardian currency that will be the only currency to have any actual value.

Those pyramids will be some kind of religious icon in the First Orthodox Church of the Nuclear Bomb. Mark my words.

Man, future anthropologists are going to have a field day trying to figure out this shit after post-apocalyptic society undergoes a dramatic renewal.

PS

"Dear Blind Guardian Fan and Nuclear Blast customer,

in some pyramids the coins might not be included, that´s why we send them out separately.


Sorry for that and a lot of fun with the special edition.


By the way: to lock the pyramid with the long axes (the short ones are for the guards), the “x” on the base has to be on the same side as the dragon on the pyramid.”