Metal is Awful
Speckmann’s new Master shirts finally convey the tragedy and sad, unfulfilled bitterness that define his career. Also he’s wanted for the murder of Laura Palmer

Speckmann’s new Master shirts finally convey the tragedy and sad, unfulfilled bitterness that define his career. Also he’s wanted for the murder of Laura Palmer

I feel like a sucker for even having seen this. 10000% for mouth-breathing, cloying morons. The best thing about this awful shirt for idiots is how it’s a way more accurate reflection of Iced Earth and their fans than any of Jon Shaffer’s pretentious blowhard rambling. Then again this shirt is completely understandable coming from a band that released a concept album ABOUT THE SPAWN COMIC. *toilet flushing noise*

I feel like a sucker for even having seen this. 10000% for mouth-breathing, cloying morons. The best thing about this awful shirt for idiots is how it’s a way more accurate reflection of Iced Earth and their fans than any of Jon Shaffer’s pretentious blowhard rambling. Then again this shirt is completely understandable coming from a band that released a concept album ABOUT THE SPAWN COMIC. *toilet flushing noise*

Alternately, “NATURAL.FUCKING.SELECTION”

Alternately, “NATURAL.FUCKING.SELECTION”

Notice two key things here: 1) the wiiiide radius of people avoiding this idiot and his shirt, and 2) use of the colloquialism “musick”. Precluding of course the insufferable chest-pounding idiocy and homophobia. Great job, Purulence. You’re all idiots.

Notice two key things here: 1) the wiiiide radius of people avoiding this idiot and his shirt, and 2) use of the colloquialism “musick”. Precluding of course the insufferable chest-pounding idiocy and homophobia. Great job, Purulence. You’re all idiots.

Special thanks to MDF for making me aware that the boring Swedish band Shining felt it necessary to make a black metal equivalent of those wild “Hold my purse while I flirt with your man” t shirts. Way to go!!

Special thanks to MDF for making me aware that the boring Swedish band Shining felt it necessary to make a black metal equivalent of those wild “Hold my purse while I flirt with your man” t shirts. Way to go!!

Yeah man. FUCK YEAH MAN! What an idea!! Nothing is more apt to encapsulate your divergence from the herd of sheeple than a Great Dane that looks like it was just caught peeing on mom’s priceless rug!! 

More huge ideas from arguably the biggest joke of a band going.

Yeah man. FUCK YEAH MAN! What an idea!! Nothing is more apt to encapsulate your divergence from the herd of sheeple than a Great Dane that looks like it was just caught peeing on mom’s priceless rug!!

More huge ideas from arguably the biggest joke of a band going.

That age old conflict: Band you hold incredibly dear is active again. Great news, right?! But because they’ve been in cryostasis so long they don’t have a clue about anything. So they just make shirts like THIS PIECE OF GARBAGE!! Bummer.

That age old conflict: Band you hold incredibly dear is active again. Great news, right?! But because they’ve been in cryostasis so long they don’t have a clue about anything. So they just make shirts like THIS PIECE OF GARBAGE!! Bummer.

From the desk of Kerry King:

"HEY SHIRT MAKING GUYS: Fuckin’ St. Patricks day is comin’ and I want something fuckin’ evil for all the Slayer fans out there. Fuckin’ leprechauns and shit but no fruity shit I’m talkin’ real freaky shit. Ok I gotta go, bye."

From the desk of Kerry King:

"HEY SHIRT MAKING GUYS: Fuckin’ St. Patricks day is comin’ and I want something fuckin’ evil for all the Slayer fans out there. Fuckin’ leprechauns and shit but no fruity shit I’m talkin’ real freaky shit. Ok I gotta go, bye."

Fathers Day gifts for complete assholes Vol. 1. Note the fragmented guitar print on either sleeve. Fuck. RIP Slayer.

Fathers Day gifts for complete assholes Vol. 1. Note the fragmented guitar print on either sleeve. Fuck. RIP Slayer.

"YAH HALLO I CAN MAKE HANNEMAN MEMORIAL SHIRT FOR YOU. DOES NOT MATTER IF KERRY KING IS STRICTLY SLAYER CELEBRATE."

"YAH HALLO I CAN MAKE HANNEMAN MEMORIAL SHIRT FOR YOU. DOES NOT MATTER IF KERRY KING IS STRICTLY SLAYER CELEBRATE."